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Trusting God with my broken heart - Psalm 112:7



Psalm 112:7  (The Voice)
They will not be afraid when the news is bad because they have resolved to trust the Eternal. 



“You will lose someone you can’t live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.”
― 
Anne Lamott



Words pulled together in a string of sentences have the ability to shakeup lives. The sentences above did just that to me.  

Feelings, stories, blog posts, conversations with God and rants have crossed my brain over the last nine months, but they refused to be permanently recorded until today.

The fact is: My heart is broken. It’s broken in a million tiny pieces that can never be put together the exact same way.

Five people I dearly love moved into eternity during the last nine months. All this happened after I broke my ankle.

One died unexpectedly. Three were terminally ill. One was murdered.
I learned about two of these deaths on the same day...

I will never completely get over the loss of my beloveds.  But like my broken ankle that will never heal perfectly, my life has continued imperfectly without them. 

There’s a stark quietness that envelops my heart…I want to choke.
I want to cry out with a big, “Why?” But there is no response.

There is no answer.

I move on.

And then I remember.

I trust God. 

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Scriptures for life

Compiled December 2011
These are a few of my favorite Scriptures. I cannot live my life without God and his word. I keep a 3x5 wire bound note diary of verses that pop off the pages of my Bibles. This helps me in case I need to comfort someone with a specific verse. Start your own collection!


Comfort

Psalm 119:76 Comfort me with your love, as you promised me, your servant.
Job 4:4 Your words have comforted those who fell, and you have strengthened those who could not stand.
Strength

Psalm 18:1 I love you, LORD. You give me strength.
Psalm 29:11 The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.
Psalm 118:14 The Lord gives me strength and a song. He has saved me.
Isaiah 40:29 The LORD gives strength to those who are weary.
Deuteronomy 33:27 The eternal God is your shelter, and his everlasting arms support you.
1 Corinthians 15:58 … don’t let anyone move you off the foundation of your faith.
Psalm 31:24 Be strong, all who wait with hope for the LORD, and let your heart be courag…

Sin on the journey

Before I know it, sin drips from my mouth and floods my mind. Oh the struggle.
Romans 7:22-23 I love to do God’s will so far as my new nature is concerned; but there is something else deep within me, in my lower nature, that is at war with my mind and wins the fight and makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. In my mind I want to be God’s willing servant, but instead I find myself still enslaved to sin. So you see how it is: my new life tells me to do right, but the old nature that is still inside me loves to sin. Oh, what a terrible predicament I’m in! Who will free me from my slavery to this deadly lower nature? Thank God! It has been done by Jesus Christ our Lord. He has set me free. 
My current struggle is in not easily recognizing the extent of my sinfulness. I can easily preach it, but continuous righteous living eludes me.
Ouch. It hurts. I reveal this because I love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul, but the sinner in me wins. It's the same struggle the A…