Skip to main content

My Divine Note #49 - Facing my grief: The empty nest during spring break - Isaiah 58:9

Saturday, March 6, 2010
Isaiah 58:9 Then when you call, the LORD will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply.

On Tuesday, March 2, I spent the day celebrating my only child’s 19th birthday in the town where she attends college. We enjoyed shopping, eating and talking – all our favorite things to do together. This weekend it’s her spring break and she’s flying to Boston and then to the San Francisco area to spend time with friends and family.

For the last 18 years, we’ve spent birthdays at home and spring breaks together. Birthdays in my family were always a big deal, so I made sure my child's birthdays were extra special. My heart feels heavy as all my traditions change and I move on to live my life apart from my child. It seems wrong to not be on spring break with her. A few months ago I thought that I would schedule time off to take a vacation in March, but time slipped by and it didn’t happen.

I feel grateful that I am fully aware of my need to recognize my grief, so that I won’t succumb to depression or isolate myself.

How I am coping
• I know that my feelings are real and that I must be completely transparent with myself.
• I looked through the scrapbooks and remembered our many mini spring break vacations.
• I spent time with one of my best friends. Sometimes you just need to be with people who know you and love you.
• I’ve been asking the Savior of my Soul, who knows me intimately, to help me help myself hang on to him for comfort.
• I’ve shed a few cleansing tears. OK, so I cry at the drop of a hat...
• I am acknowledging that my heart is heavy because things changed in my world. But I’m thrilled that my child is enjoying time with her closest friends and family.

I will continue writing about my empty nest grief as I experience new phases and as I become stronger about coping. It is my prayer that this note helps you recognize changes that are happening in your life, which may involve a need for you to grieve appropriately. Whether you’ve lost a job, moved, ended a relationship, retired or received a troubling health diagnosis – all of these are life events that rock our worlds. Be aware that you need to honor your grief and I cannot emphasize the importance of seeking help.

Next year I plan to schedule time off and take a fun spring break. Meanwhile, I am relying on friends, family and my relationship with the God of the Universe to see me through this transition.

Big God Hugs and love,
Blanca




Comments

  1. Thanks for sharing Blanca. Understand and appreciate your thoughts. The Lord be especially present during this season. We're transitioning as well in our pastoral ministry and have similar issues to process.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When it hurts to care – Psalm 31:7

When it hurts to care – Psalm 31:7 Psalm 31:7 I will be glad and rejoice in your unfailing love, for you have seen my troubles, and you care about the anguish of my soul. One of God’s gifts to me is the ability to care about and pray for those who are ill. But right now, my mother is at the end of her life, and another key person in my life recently received bad health news. I also follow the Facebook journey of a courageous 12-year old girl, Jessie Rees ,  who suffered from two inoperable brain tumors. She passed away a few days ago. I am sad. But it’s interesting that in my sadness, I’ve come to appreciate how God works my faith steps. Before I decided that God’s purpose for me was greater than my own purpose, I had a hard time being close to people because it hurt that they might die or leave me. God opened my understanding (and healed me) so that I could come to terms with that and step into the gifts of compassion he planned for me. I started to feel that familiar hurt e

Moments with God: When all you can do is cry. Luke 7:36-40

July 7, 2013 Remember the story of the woman who poured oil over the feet of Jesus, wept and kissed him? Luke 7:36-40 The Voice Luke 7:36-40 The Voice translation  Once a Pharisee named Simon invited Jesus to be a guest for a meal. Picture this: Just as Jesus enters the man’s home and takes His place at the table, a woman from the city—notorious as a woman of ill repute—follows Him in. She has heard that Jesus will be at the Pharisee’s home, so she comes in and approaches Him, carrying an alabaster flask of perfumed oil. Then she begins to cry, she kneels down so her tears fall on Jesus’ feet, and she starts wiping His feet with her own hair. Then she actually kisses His feet, and she pours the perfumed oil on them. That's how I felt.  Yesterday I had a memorable “point in time.”  My ear tuned to a melody:  “ The King of Heaven’s Armies is right here by my side . “   Tears trickled down my cheeks unexpectedly. The Lord knows my real heart (and your rea

I am grateful that I can trust God. Psalm 56:9

Psalm 56:9 When I cry out to You, Then my enemies will turn back; This I know, because God is for me. I have learned that I must rely on God in all things – big and small. I must cry out to him when I’m dealing with life. I tend to want to handle things on my own, but I have a bad track record. I’m not good without God. We can rely on God when we know God. We can decide that God is a stranger and choose not to know him or we can get to know him so we can rely on him when the enemy approaches. The enemy will approach. Know God. Let God be on your side.